Cancer Comes Softly in the Stillness

Today I have breast cancer. Today I have joined the club. I have said the words. In fact, the cancer has been there growing for some time. I have had it with me on this journey. It is not new. Today is in fact the day that I stand up and say “No more.” It is time to cut out all the things that are holding me back from being fully alive. Being afraid to see it was the dangerous part.

Jump Into Joy

A few years ago, in meditation, I received the message that it was time to Trust and to Surrender. As a childhood abuse and trauma survivor, I have developed so many strategies to keep going, keep functioning, keep trying. I never let them see me hurting. I stay hyper-vigilant at all times. I have developed so many self-protective habits that the idea of surrendering enough to let go, and trusting that everything would be okay, is a terrifying prospect.

Taking Baby Steps out of Pain into Positivity

When I finally found the courage and started speaking my truth, owning my story, and feeling like I deserved to be here, the physical pains started to lessen. As I learned to feel like I had some worth and I let some joy in, the blocks started to shift and move and I let some energy flow to that part of my body that was so wounded. I sent love to the little girl that was hurt and told her that it wasn’t her fault.

Mothering Missions and Magdalena Moments

In the interview with Father James Martin called Finding God in All Things, there were so many things that he mentioned that reminded me of the importance of the work that I do, which is to bring these amazing and beautiful messages together across those boundaries. When Father Martin speaks of St. Ignatius and how he “wanted us to be free of anything that kept us from following God” it reminds me of how St. Theresa teaches us to let go of all the things of this world that are clouding our vision, keeping us busy, and keeping us separated from God.