Today I have breast cancer. Today I have joined the club. I have said the words. In fact, the cancer has been there growing for some time. I have had it with me on this journey. It is not new. Today is in fact the day that I stand up and say “No more.” It is time to cut out all the things that are holding me back from being fully alive. Being afraid to see it was the dangerous part.
A few years ago, in meditation, I received the message that it was time to Trust and to Surrender. As a childhood abuse and trauma survivor, I have developed so many strategies to keep going, keep functioning, keep trying. I never let them see me hurting. I stay hyper-vigilant at all times. I have developed so many self-protective habits that the idea of surrendering enough to let go, and trusting that everything would be okay, is a terrifying prospect.
This winter I was challenged to step out of fear and into JOY in some wild new ways. I needed to get off the sidelines, stop hiding behind my limiting beliefs, and just take the leap. Literally. I thought I had faced so many of my biggest fears, and then they grew bigger, just like my babies!
When I finally found the courage and started speaking my truth, owning my story, and feeling like I deserved to be here, the physical pains started to lessen. As I learned to feel like I had some worth and I let some joy in, the blocks started to shift and move and I let some energy flow to that part of my body that was so wounded. I sent love to the little girl that was hurt and told her that it wasn’t her fault.
Are you ready to surrender the things in your life that cause you pain? Can you let go? It’s easier said than done. I find that trust and surrender are the hardest stage of the healing process. I feel like when people see me at this stage, they don’t understand how many steps I … Continue reading Join The Movement
I am breaking up and breaking out and moving on. Celebrate with me.
I was trying to get into the spirit of the season and I just heard a mom on the "uplifting and positive" radio station who called in and shared her fears about her son starting to date in the world we live in today. She was so afraid that he would be called out as … Continue reading The Season to Believe.
In the interview with Father James Martin called Finding God in All Things, there were so many things that he mentioned that reminded me of the importance of the work that I do, which is to bring these amazing and beautiful messages together across those boundaries. When Father Martin speaks of St. Ignatius and how he “wanted us to be free of anything that kept us from following God” it reminds me of how St. Theresa teaches us to let go of all the things of this world that are clouding our vision, keeping us busy, and keeping us separated from God.
I hate to tell you, but the tools and techniques that science has found to be the most effective are things that sound kind of spiritual or “natural”. They tell you to try exercise and meditation. They tell you to learn to be mindful and present. They have even found that hugs can heal and prayer works. They say to go outside in nature. It all works.
My book is being re-birthed into a larger sphere with a broader reach.